G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009)Videogame

As if the makers of “G.I. Joe” hadn’t mucked up their own publicity enough by immediately politicizing the film with an announcement that all the crass Americanism would be stripped from our favorite action heroes in favor of a more global approach, on Monday director Stephen Sommers decided to polarize audiences even more hectoring we RedStaters not to misinterpret the deep well of subtext put into his creation: “[T]his is not a George Bush movie – it’s an Obama world[.]”

And indeed “G.I. Joe” does remind of an Obama world: It cost too much, doesn’t deliver and we should all get back our cash for this clunker.

While nowhere near as soul-deadening as “Transformers 2” or the latest “Harry Potter,”...