A friend's gf recommended this series to me after she shared her own personal ghost stories in real life. We talked about how we both prefer psychological horror and movies that leave an impact on you throughout the week. Instead of some slasher gore flick about a specific killer from some random town, if the theme is universal like ghost experiences it will haunt your peripheral vision every night in coming days. "The Conjuring" is one of those.

Or attempts to be anyway. Overall it wasn't super scary because many scenes were predictable. You know when a light will go out or when a person will fall or a door will slam. Sometimes that anticipation is what really let's the tension ferment but other times it's what prevents you from jumping. And since I'm not a big horror guy I wasn't as in tune with the clichés of "Smile" that Thundercock was talking about. But they are present in this movie as well like how the dog dies and you see it coming a mile away, cringing nonstop with all the events leading up to it. It's a cheapshot to get a rise from you but whatever.

Other than the predictability, the thing that took me out of the movie was when they started doing paranormal activity measurement stuff. It reminded me of those stupid ghost hunter reality tv shows where they walk around abandoned buildings and try desperately to milk static and dust for as much hype as possible.

There's a lot of positives to the movie though. It's very pro faith. Like this interaction:

Ed Warren: Have your children been baptized?

Roger Perron: Uh, no. We never got around to that. We’re not really a church going family.

Ed Warren: Well, you may want to rethink that.

And this quote at the very end of the movie right before the credits:
(No spoiler)

“Diabolical forces are formidable. These forces are eternal, and they exist today. The fairy tale is true. The devil exists. God exists. And for us, as people, our very destiny hinges upon which one we elect to follow.”

― Ed Warren

And even though I'm not a Catholic myself, it's very refreshing to see such themes in a blockbuster series. They even have an evil witch who sacrificed her own children contrasted with Ed Warren's clairvoyant wife using her powers for good. If you're dating an art hoe girl that likes to LARP with witchy aesthetics and memes about witchcraft, this will scare her straight. Or if your daughter is in a rebellious "Wednesday" phase you'll only make her dive deeper into it if you hassle her. Watch this stuff instead. Scared straight.

I wish right-wingers made more movies like this. I've rambled about how right-wingers don't harness the power of implicit enough and are painfully explicit with things like "Hillary's America." But this film was as explicit as it gets. I guess what made it so much more powerful was that its message wasn't its central focus. It's like how a song about God hits so much harder when it's not a Christian Rock band. I have no idea what the politics or faith of the creators were. It's just an inherently pro-faith story because of the subject matter. It reminded me of "Signs" with Mel Gibson.

Speaking of actors I like, the guy from "Office Space" has a lead role and disappoints. Wayyyy too casual for someone living in a haunted house having his family terrorized. It's like the hypnosis from "Office Space" didn't wear off.

 

Also, I agree with MondoMirth that because it’s “based on a true story” it makes it scarier. I believe in dark forces and metaphysical stuff. But in the back of your head you always wonder how much is real and how much is Hollywood. Were chairs flying across the room exploding? And c’mon, I don’t care how poor the family was IRL, if a fraction of what happened in the film happened IRL you think they’d move right away. And yes, they explain that in the movie by saying the dark entities were now latched onto the family and no matter where they go it will stay, but okay why the f**k didn’t they get baptized immediately?
 
The films are based on books the clairvoyant wife, Lorraine Warren, wrote. If I cared enough I’d read them, but ignorance is bliss. I don’t even like reading “History v.s. Hollywood” too thoroughly. Seeing the real Annabelle doll is enough of a let down to not scroll further. But unlike “Hidden Figures” and other “based on a true story” oppression movies, the core of "The Conjuring" is the same. Crazy stuff…

So yeah, I was left spooked and thinking about the good morals throughout the film. I recommend it so far but am a bit skeptical of the series. Reddit has various watch orders it suggests, but so far it's not good enough for me to want to watch them all. I'll stick with my friend's gf’s recommended essentials:

1.) The Conjuring
2.) Anabelle
3.) The Conjuring II
4.) The Nun

And imma' skip the rest.