When do we get the umpteenth sequel where this time Thor breaks up with his girl, and gets fat eating ice cream on the couch, but then gets on the rebound dating a superstar soccer player? There'll be a brutal comeback montage where Jenny Craig mentors him back on his feet, and he'll save the day against high concession stand prices (and calories) while his new beau leads her underdog soccer team to victory over the Germans.

Based on either lead's skillset, we could call it Thor: Thunderthighs.